Sending my first query letter — I would never have thought it to be this hard ever: it took me 1 million years

I am shaking in my boots.

My hand is twitching, hoovering a fraction of an inch above the mouse-button.

I swear, I noticed cold sweat forming on my forehead, something I never have.

I am about to send my first set of query letters…

Two months earlier

“How will I get my book published correctly?” I asked myself out loud.

I have no real support for it.

My family doesn’t see how this will ever bring us anything.

If I ask them for anything, worry is the answer.

Most of my colleagues, well, they are on their journeys.

I do not know any writer who is published. Self-published, Amazon-published yes. But classically, I know nobody.

So I research. Siphoning through a myriad of pages. All of them know the only way to get published, but they all have their unique approach.

Finally, I found a book. It looks and sounds promising. I imagine the “Catching” sound in the pocket of the author right now. Booked!

306 Pages… over 200 of them are filled with agencies that do one thing: Publish Authors!

Great. I get reading …

After a week, following everything they recommend you to do, I learned a lot.

Slowly something dawned on me.

This will not be a walk in the park, no piece of cake, no sunshine rainbow slide to happy-land.

It’s going to be work.

That’s fine. I am used to giving it my all.

My story is worth the effort.

Tired, I lean back into my pillow, It’s 1 am … everybody else is vast asleep. Silence. And the soft tuck of heavy eyelids beckoning me to follow the invite into new, unexplored worlds of my own.

I drift to sleep.

A couple of days later, I continue … It took me three weeks to get to a point where I understood Query letters, Synopsis writing, Blurbs, Bios especially crafted for the world I am invested in right now, Previews, sneak peeks, layouts for specific wishes etc…

The publishing world is beyond my comprehension. And I feel like I do not need to comprehend, just adhere to its standards… There are experts out there who do the deep dives.

Now, something else invades my mind. After reading one question, that changed how I look at my work … Editing. Am I really done?

It is presentable.

I mean, I had about a dozen beta readers, plus some here and there diving into the story… And I got throughout positive feedback. From both people who know me and those who do not.

I lean back into my office chair, my eyes glancing out the window, into the bit of sky I can see next to the port-roofing…

I drift off a second, imagining nothing for once.

Then, I dive deeper into the idea of finally getting my work “out there”.

It’s been over 2 years since I started re-crafting the story from scratch.

Oh, right, the one question that changed everything: “When you think about your manuscript, what part comes to mind immediately, instantly, without deeper thought or searching, that you instinctively know needs work?”

I tried to ignore the inner answer that showed up right away.

But, I learned to be honest with myself, so I followed this first blip of a thought.

“The Intro” … more detailed “the first 3–4 chapters” …

They are fast-paced, on purpose. They are loaded with action … also on purpose.

However, unlike in movies, you can expand, slow time, and intersect the action without needlessly diverging from the plot… or pacing.

So I used every moment that I could to expand on the characters, the world, and the story.

Within one afternoon I added about 6000 Words to the story.

Then … something else settled in. A tiredness.

Was I tired of editing? Yes and no… there was something else.

A sense of accomplishment that rode on top of a wave of finality.

The story was good as it was!

Wait, let me rephrase this: “The story is EPIC, this way.”

It’s time now, to get crafty with all these things, the publishing world needs from us writers …

I searched, researched and checked out a couple of dozens of agencies… then I went through the list in the book that I bought, and started checking out the agents. Who would I love to work with, who would love my story, who had the right ideals, ideas, visions, and felt like a great fit…?

I found my top three picks, within all those I looked at, and started to dive into their expectations for a query.

After crafting each query peculiarly for them, I was ready to hit the “send” button.

My heart froze, and dropped into my pants…

With no one around for moral support, I mustered up all my strength and courage and still had to fight to hit sent.

I paused.

I felt into it.

Was I wrong?

Was the story not ready yet?

Should I get another round of editing done?

A professional editor?

Should I finish all 299 + Ideas for books, first, before I start with publishing?

Then it hit me.

I was stalling.

I was scared.

Furthermore, I was insecure.

I felt like a fraud, an impostor, who just pretended to be a writer.

My inner saboteur kicked into high gear.

But I did not allow him to speak down on me.

Lucky for myself, I am very spiritual and connected to the universe.

I also understand a bit about kinesiology and testing and psychology. Enough that I could make use of it for myself.

So … I sent the question to another world, another plane of existence, and double-checked the answers within my body and mind.

I felt into it, deeply.

And the only resonance I got was this: “Sent!” — “It’s ready for the world… Do not overthink it.”

Finally, I found a way to disconnect from the outcome, and hand it over to the universe. I want it to do the work and find the ways for me. I will just do my part. And my part now was to hit the send button.

CLICK

Loading …

Rotating circles on the screen.

1 Minute ….

2 Minutes ….

“Was it stuck?”

“Oh no, if I have to fill it all in again … I will go crying and stop it all” … the thoughts boring into my head like wildfires.

PING.

A green checkmark shows up …

Your query was sent successfully.

I turn to stone in front of the screen.

Then I celebrate myself.

I know, this will be good.

I lean back and relax. “I need to change my cloth” I think … as I notice that my shirt is sweat through like I’ve just spent the last hour running a marathon.

A victory shower later, I thank the process, and the universe for its support.

My intention is clear:

I want to live a free live in flow and wealth, and spend my time writing my stories first and foremost.

I leave the 'how-to' to the universe.

Likewise, I let it go. All of it.

And as I fall back, I am grateful for the journey, the process, and tools like querytracker.net that help writers like me, to find their match with agents.

If you are at a similar cross-roads. I can only encourage you. Keep writing, keep up the pressure and go for it! I am rooting for you.